a pen and a talking heart

Me <3 God

Sunday, June 28, 2015

TADHANA

"bat di pa sabihin ang hindi mo maamin, ipauubaya nalang ba to sa hangin?" itong linya na to ang pinaka paborito ko sa kantang Tadhana, sinasamahan ko talaga ng feelings kapag kinakanta ko ang linya na yan. Sarap kasi sa tenga kasi TOTOO, TOTOONG TOTOO pero, oo madaling sabihin pero ang hirap gawin, lalo na kung babae ka. Hirap sabihin ng nararamdaman mo lalo na kung yung lalake ay hindi mo rin sigurado kung torpe o hindi lang talaga interesado sa'yo, na kapag sinabi mo na may nararamdaman ka sa kanya baka mapahiya ka at isa pa, parang napaka awkward naman nun kung ikaw babae ang unang aamin. Ano nga ba ang nararapat gawin? ang mag hintay nalang? maghintay sa wala naman kasiguradan?

"bat di papatulan ang pagsuyong nagkulang?" oo nga, bakit nga ba?? eh kasi, kahit gaano natin kagusto yung tao, hindi natin sila mapipilit na mahalin tayo, yung pakiramdaman na kasama mo siya, suntok sa buwan ang nadarama, pero ikaw lang nakakalam nun kasi kapag nalaman nya either ma.aawkward cya or mag tetake advantage cya, pwede kang mamili kung sasabihin mo ba talaga or hahayan mo nalang hanggang mapunta cya sa iba? parehong sakit lang kapag ni.reject ka at iwan ka, so ano? mas mabuti ba kung sasabihin nalang??? malay mo, baka ganon din nararamdaman nya.

"naririto akong makikinig sayo" oo na, anjan ka na..alam nya naman talaga siguro yun, pero pano kapag ang problema nya ay ikaw mismo at ramdam mo yun, handa ka pabang makinig? handa ka bang pakinggan ang mga masasakit na salita na sasabihin nya sayo? hmmm pero pano nga kung aamin na cya sa nararamdaman nya sayo? pano kung nahuhulog na din cya sayo? alin ba talaga, ang mag titake ng risk? or mag pi.playing safe? minsan kasi tama minsan mali yung instinct natin, pero sa buhay meron tayong tatlong boss, yung puso natin, utak natin at syempre si Lord, minsan nalilito ka na kung ano ba talaga susundin, oo gusto mong sundin yung gusto ni Lord pero pano mo nga ba malalaman kung sinusunod mo nga ba ang gusto Nya? ano nga ba? makikinig? o mag bibingi.bingihan?

'san nga ba patungo? nakayapak at nahihiwagaan na'
bakit kaya may mga taong mahihilig mag settle sa mga bagay na hindi sigurado? kasi nga, mahal nila.. ayaw pakawalan, ayaw mawala, hindi kayang iwan kasi yun lang ang nagpapasaya sa kanila. kahit na minsan ito din ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nasasaktan pero ganito talaga pag nag mahal eh, BULAG. bulag sa katotohanan na balang pwede itong mawala sa kanila, kahit na alam naman nila na hindi ito para sa kanila. kaya yung iba (ako din pala) nag sesettle sa mga psuedo-relationship, pwede kang mag i love you, pwede kang mag i miss you, pwede kang mag lambing, PERO d ka pwedeng mag selos, di ka pwedeng mag suggest ng mga desisyon nya sa buhay, hindi ka pwedeng mag tanong lagi tungkol sa status nyo kasi nga, wala naman talagang kayo, oo.. masaya kayo sa isa't-isa, masaya ka kapag kausap, kachat, kaskype mo siya PERO laging tatandaan WALANG KAYO. 'sorry ha, mahal ko eh' yan ang madalas lumalabas sa bibig natin. kasi nga pag nagmahal ka, hindi mo na alam kung alin ang tama at mali basta alam mong masaya ka, larga na.

ganito ang tadhana, minsan dadalhin tayo dun sa taong siguradong itinadha para sa'tin pero minsan din dinadala muna tayo sa maling tao, yun nga lang kadalasan dun tayo mas makaka sabing sigurado sa taong hindi para sa atin. complicated ano? ganyan talaga. tadhana nga naman.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

To My Future Beloved

God + You and Me. Only three of us will matter on the day that i will finally meet you. You may not be ready today that's why God still lets me wait but i want you to know, since the day i fell in love with God, i fell in love with you too. I believe I will have you on the day you will start praying for me and claiming me to God. My beloved, I promise to be your loyal girlfriend and i claim that you will be my last. When the perfect day finally arrives, I want you to read this post. I want you to know how long have I patiently waited for you, how long have I prayed for you and how long have I fell in love with you. Oh just the thought of you excites me. I'm excited to travel with you, read books with you, watch movies with you, listen to my favorite songs with you, dream with you, pray with you and most especially, worship God with you. Lastly, My Beloved, I know life may be harsh sometimes but I believe that if we work hand and hand in fighting temptations, with the grace of God surely we can get through it. I promise you, when you finally find your way through me I'll be with you in your journey, it'll be our journey. I love you though we haven't met yet and I'm sure I'll love you even more when we finally meet. :)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

NO PAIN, NO GAIN


have you ever experienced being broken-hearted? have you ever been dumped and left out alone in the dark? if you have then you must know how painful it is. being rejected, condemed and misunderstood is very much painful than having an open wound. I have been rejected and judged, there were those times that i feel like giving up. OA akong humandle ng mga sitwasyon, lalong-lalo na kapag na.fail ako. Before, my means of coping is umiinom ako kasama ng mga barkada ko, nagna.night life, i have been into "party all night and sleep all day" well, that WAS me.

After many years of escaping reality i found myself closing my eyes and kneeling. i was praying. it took me many years to realize where all those pains and problems are leading me. pagkatapos nung balde-baldeng pagluluha heto ako ngayon, nakatayo at nakatingala because i now realized than behind those big problems, there is a Man who is bigger than it and greater than it. My God.

After all those heartaches and pains, i gained RESPECT and LOVE from my family and friends. because of all those experiences i've learned to extend my patience and understanding, i have learned to forgive people and give them another chance. we all do deserve many chances, why do you we are still able to wake up every morning? it's because God is giving us another chance to correct what we have done wrong yesterday.

Without experiencing pain you couldn't learn how to understand, care and love. By then, when you already know how to, that's the time you could receive honor and respect. so? don't be afraid of experiencing failure, soon enough that pain will be the most reason of your success..:D